Live Loathe laugh. No wordy highfalutin’ explanations needed for this tee yall. Here we have good ol’ fashioned proverbial words to live by. Passed down through generations of unsatisfied, pissed-off, cynics and stoics and realists and sarcastic nay-sayers its folksy wisdom is as relevant today as the day it was coined. Digitally hand-stitched by yours truly right here in the good ol’ N.Y. of A. this traditional faux-crochet design will bring a down-home charm to even the most critical, world-weary, annoyed, judgmental, hysterically vitriolic curmudgeon. Hooray.

See all your options for this tee here or see all the Nonist’s offerings here. See below for a closer look at the design…

Dated: 08.05  Comments: 1   Permanent link to this post:   Email this post: »

Serif’s Lament. The Serif, as elegant and sophisticated a workhorse as you’re likely to see. Unsung hero of the printed word since presses first began their clacking. But older than that; much older. Old enough to be chiseled into worn-down Roman stone, with origins (both physical and etymological) at least as fuzzy. And yet in the last century or so… how neglected. How maligned! With each new call for utilitarianism, practicality, and modernism the noble Serif has suffered. Today, a decade into the internet revolution, well, the Serif has fallen on hard times. Called upon less and less it must make due with work as body copy and Woody Allen film credits. While Helvetica walks the red carpet the Serif, left behind, laments, “WHY HAST THOU FORSAKEN ME?” Readability is an issue however, and no one understands.

Two versions of this design are available one printed in black for light apparel and one printed in white for dark apparel. (See below for larger versions.) 

Dated: 07.10  Comments: 0   Permanent link to this post:   Email this post: »

Ape Resistance. Imagine, if you will an already backward-leaning country, by some strange cast of the die, sliding full-tilt into dogmatic lunacy. Imagine the ascendance of a bona-fide Theocratic state which, above all, ruthlessly “discourages” any mention of evolution or natural selection. Imagine a scientific and non-believer community driven “underground.” The resultant resistance would need a clandestine symbology to identify one another in back-alleys and call others of like mind to arms, something to spray on cathedral walls and wheat paste across incense clouded metropoli.

In advance of this highly improbable possibility I hereby nominate a few pop-cultural symbols heretofore without specific meaning but none the less widely recognized as related to, respectively, the chimpanzee, the orangutan, and the gorilla. These are the symbols worn by the civilized primates on The Planet of the Apes and as such a film would surely be purged from the collective consciousness under an evolution-denying Theocracy, I believe they make the perfect samantics-free but association-rich pro-Darwinian statement. And now you, dear reader, can make that statement from the comfort of your own t-shirt.

Whether it is, in fact, a few of these t-shirts, surviving after humanity obliterates itself, that ultimately inspires the future planet-ruling ape civilization to adopt these symbols in the first place… (Pantheistic solipsism and all that) well, who can tell?

See below for all three designs.

Dated: 07.06  Comments: 0   Permanent link to this post:   Email this post: »

Gosh Tees. Here we have two handsome new tees being made available at the Nonist Shop, both variations on a theme. Whether you are an atheist seeking to snuff-out superstitious hokum one sentence at a time, an enthusiastic follower of commandments desiring to mince every oath, a situationist, a cultural critic hoping to highlight the moral and intellectual bankruptcy of a 21st century society motivated, above all else, by an insatiable desire for new forms of entertainment and spectacle, or simply a smart-ass, these are designs for you! 

These hand drawn graphics (See below for larger versions) ought to look good on most apparel colors. See your options for “Gosh Is In The Details” here, and “One Nation Under Gosh” here, or see all of the Nonist’s offerings here.

Dated: 07.01  Comments: 0   Permanent link to this post:   Email this post: »

Dearest Fingers. The typewriter, after centuries of dedicated service, is fading fast from the memory of men. These noble machines, once the trusted friend of novelist, philosopher, poet, lover, spy, and bureaucrat alike, have fallen on hard times. Today they sit in attics and shadowy back-rooms, confused and lonely. They know they still have so much to give, so much romance to kindle, so much tactile pleasure in their keys and mechanisms! But alas, Man is fickle. Man is thoughtless. Man is… cruel. If you listen closely you can almost hear them, softly clacking their final words, as the dust grows ever thicker… “Dearest Fingers, I’m lost without you.”

This design (see below for larger image) ought to look good on most apparel colors, light and dark. Check out all of your options for this Tee here, or see all the Nonist’s products here.

Dated: 06.21  Comments: 0   Permanent link to this post:   Email this post: »

Can there be any doubt that of all the words and phrases which have made their way down to us from Old French, that one of its greatest, most prescient, linguistic contribution is a 5 letter word which manages, in spite of its diminutive size, to neatly sum up the million heavy, wretched, laborious, plodding, suffocating, life-force-sapping, woebegone pangs which constitute a day in the life?

Ennui n.

<ân'wE>

A feeling of weariness and disgust; dullness and languor of spirits, arising from satiety or want of interest; tedium.

Ah, yes, you noble word, saving us the added tiresome indignity of having to string together an endless array of other, less capable, words when pressed for explanations. Dispirited and beaten-down though we are, I think it would be downright rude of us not to celebrate this word somehow, in recognition of its marvelous utility and tireless, dedicated service. But how? Why with a celebratory ennui balloon-animal of course! (See below for larger image.)

Now, you miserable wretch, heroically drag yourself out of bed, if you can, and click here to see all your options are for this tee, or click here to check out all of the Nonist’s offerings. 

Dated: 06.12  Comments: 0   Permanent link to this post:   Email this post: »

Well-Known Pleasures. New to the Nonist Shop. The classics never die, they just multiply, until they are available in every possible retail market from Urban Outfitters to the street vendors peppering city sidewalks. Such is the case with the iconic cover artwork for Joy Division’s 1979 album Unknown Pleasures. Taken from a Cambridge Encyclopedia of Astronomy the original image presents 100 successive measurement of the first Pulsar ever detected. It is a brilliant bit of design appropriation, evoking as it does the sort of quickened ecstatic reaction one might feel at encountering an “unknown pleasure.” Of course, today, all these years later, the design has been reproduced ad-infinitum, effectively creating more of a “Well-Known Pleasure.” And what would the corresponding visual be for a pleasure so over indulged in as to become decidedly ordinary? I think you’re looking at it. (see below for larger version.)

This tee was designed specifically for black apparel. See your options here or check out all of the Nonist’s offerings here.

Dated: 06.01  Comments: 3   Permanent link to this post:   Email this post: »

Poison. New to the Nonist Shop is this attractive design guaranteed to wow not only theater majors, drama club members, lovers of the classics, and Literature professors, but 80’s R&B aficionados as well! Yes, that’s right, here we have what might just possibly be the one and only Shakespeare / Bell Biv DeVoe mash-up on the market, and what is, without question, the finest Claudius tee you’ll see all year! This tee features a full color illustration and grey text incorporating transparency (see below for a larger version). It should look good on all apparel colors. Impress literate people at parties! Be the hit of the library scene! Stick it to the nobility! Take a stand against Flouncy usurpers! Act now!!

Check out all of your options for this Tee here, or see all the Nonist’s products here.

Dated: 05.30  Comments: 0   Permanent link to this post:   Email this post: »

Fucitol. C6H14O5, a molecule derived from the sugar Fucose, is better known (and by “better” I mean “if at all”) by its common name- Fucitol. Yes Fucitol indeed. Now, with this handsome C6H14O5 molecular model tee from the Nonist, you can brazenly display your cynicism, disgust, apathy, aimless anger, or total nihilism in a manner that wont upset your dear old granny, require immediate sedation, or set off alarm bells in the HR department. This design (see below for larger image) ought to look good on most apparel colors, light and dark.

Check out all of your options for this Tee here, or see all the Nonist’s products here.

Dated: 05.28  Comments: 2   Permanent link to this post:   Email this post: »

I would like to announce the opening of The Nonist Shop. After years of threatening to loose actual physical products upon the world I have finally made the first humble steps toward becoming a soulless, lumbering, commercial juggernaut that will happily suck the last penny from your children’s children’s pockets, effectively making it impossible for them to prosper, let alone shell out the cash necessary to keep you happily medicated in the old-folks home! Yay.

Dated: 05.27  Comments: 2   Permanent link to this post:   Email this post: »