For your entertainment and personal pleasure I now pass on some eminantly useful occult knowledge, long forgotten by such as we. Taken from a 1913 publication titled The Book of Ceremonial Magic by Arthur Edward Waite, this spell is sure to liven-up a dull evening at home. (As always, please remember that The Nonist is not responsible for any demonic possessions, ghoul maulings, or imp slaps, so conjure with care.) See below to learn…
Abstain for three days from the hidden offices, and then shall your spirit be fortified. On the fourth day, you shall cleanse and prepare your chamber as soon as it is morning, immediately after dressing, the whole fasting. But see you do it in such a way that it will not be liable to disarrangement during the remainder of the day. Note that there must be no hangings, nor anything set crosswise, no tapestries, no hanging clothes, hats, bird-cages, bed curtains, &c. Above all, let the appointments be clean in every respect.
After supper pass in secret to your chamber, made ready as above; kindle a good fire; place a white cloth on the table, round which set three chairs, and before each chair, upon the table, let there be a wheaten roll and a glass full of fresh clear water. Lastly, draw up a chair and settee to the side of the bed and retire to rest, uttering the following conjuration:
Besticitum consolatio, veni ad me vertat Creon, Creon, Creon, cantor laudem omnipotentis et non commentur. Stat superior carta bient laudem omviestra principiem da montem et inimicos meos ô prostantis vobis et mihi dantes que passium fieri sincisibus.
The three persons, having arrived, will rest themselves near the fire, drinking, eating and finally thanking him or her who has entertained them; for if it be a young lady who performs this ceremony, three gentlemen will come; but if it be a man, three young ladies will appear. The said three persons will draw lots among each other to know which of them shall remain with you. If a man be the operator, she who wins will place herself in the arm-chair which you have set by the bed, and she will remain and commune with you until midnight, at which hour she will depart with her companions, without any need of dismissal. As regards the two others, they will keep themselves by the fire, while the other entertains you. So long as she remains you may question her upon any art or science, or upon what subject soever, and she will immediately give you a positive answer. You may also inquire of her whether she is aware of any hidden treasure, and she will instruct you as to its locality and the precise time suited to its removal. She will even appear there with her companions to defend you against the assaults of the Infernal Spirits who may have it in their possession. At parting, she will present you with a ring, which, worn on the finger, will render you lucky at play, while if it be placed upon the finger of any woman or girl, you shall there and then have your will with them. Observe, however, that you must leave your window open in order that they may enter.
This ceremony may be repeated frequently at the will of the operator. It must be acknowledged that the above experiment offers a large return for very small pains in the preparation, and hence it is very popular.
I don’t know, there’s just something about the specificity of this that cracks me up.