Imagine, if you will, a strip-mall parking lot. It’s a familiar place which you’ve distractedly maneuvered through many times. Now Imagine that on this particular afternoon you pull into said parking lot only to find some kind of quasi-pomp, marking some unknown circumstance. Everything is clutter and Day-Glo chaos. “Aw crap!” you might think, but it’s too late to escape.

There are streamers. There are balloons. There is a local high-school marching-band complete with baton twirler. Spilling over into the lanes and parking spaces is a thin, dead-eyed, crowd. Some are holding little pennants limply at their sides. A few are wearing oversized hats. As you roll closer, tapping your brakes to avoid vehicular manslaughter, you see the cheap vinyl signs, with their bold, shiny, type; they read: Grand Reopening !!!

Well dear reader, you have unknowingly wandered into a very similar scene. Minus the parking lot, and the cheap pomp, and the crowd… and the car of course. In fact what you’ve done, without even realizing it, is happen upon the grand opening of The Nonist, Version 3.0. Hip-hip hooray! Strike up the band.

After a month-and-change holed up alone in my lair, tapping at the keys and hammering code into a stylesheet with a rubber mallet, I have returned with the site you see before you.

Now- picture yourself in a boat, on a river, with tangerine trees… Just kidding.

What can I say? I’m glad to be back… (tap tap. is this thing on? hello?) Ahem… I’m glad to be back though what I’ll post now that I’m here is beyond me. This whole stretch that I’ve been away from the site I’ve really been away. I’ve barely payed any attention to internet goings-on. I’ve neglected my surfing duties and am now hopelessly out of the loop, not to mention woefully out of practice. The funny part is just how easy it was to unplug…

Anyhow, be that all as it may let me offer you a hardy welcome. Honesty I feel that I ought to shake your hand and congratulate you on your impeccable timing. It’s uncanny really because I was just now about to cut the ribbon on the front door with a pair of oversized novelty scissors. Huzzah! 

So to you beloved readers who were patient with me and to those of you who just wandered in by accident, come on in and have a look around. I hope you like the new digs. All that remains is for me to scrape up some actual content.

Now if you’ll excuse me there is bitter, disinterested reporter, on assignment here at the “Grand Reopening” to secure some positive, community-related, puff for the local news who I need to exchange phony, overenthusiastic, exclamations with. (Is my tie straight?) Enjoy!

04.30. filed under: announcements. 1