The humble Crotoniidae mite, cousin of the spider, opened its own private little Pandora’s box. Quote: “In a first in the annals of animal evolution, these mites have rediscovered the joy of sex, regaining the ability to mate after descending from ancestors that had lost the capacity for it.” Ah yes. And along with the joys of sex (of which there are unarguably many) the Crotoniidae mite can now also rediscover a world of hurt– feelings of inadequacy and regret, dysfunction, confusion, guilt, self-loathing, unquenched desire, disgust, and all manner of deep dark shadow-casting neurosis! Whoopee! In 20 years their progeny will be cursing that first horny mite couple who slapped the gift horse of evolution in the mouth and cast their whole family, yet again, out of the garden of serene Eden. If you’ve got some cash to burn in the stock market now would be the time to invest it in mite-sized sports cars.

11.26. filed under: science. 2