yesterday, during that most hyped of all sporting events, we were treated to america on a platter. no not the competitive, never quit spirit, not the love of play, not celebrations of the human body operating at it’s physical peak… as numbskulls country wide will explain, mimicking what they’ve seen and heard for the last 10 years in every newspaper and on every television set like particularly unimaginative parrots, “it’s all about the commercials man!” christ. what fucking imbeciles. yes. let us celebrate all during the six hour pre-game show the wonder, the glory, that is the television commercial. let’s lean forward on our couch cushions, waiting with baited breath, buffalo wing in one hand, atkins friendly low carb beer in the other, to see what new miracles of creativity the da vinci’s of our age will put boldly before us… fucking morons.

so yesterday during this great orgy of plastic ice cubes and spray glossed foodstuffs, this celebration of all things advertising, moveon.org’s ad was conspicuously absent. though they had the ad, and the pile of cash needed to get it in this coveted time slot, the ad was rejected. not shown because it was deemed too controversial. (see the ad here and judge for yourself). CBS then went on to greenlight janet jackson’s tit stunt, rewarding those who did not change channels at halftime to see the lingerie bowl with some titties of their own. i suppose CBS prefers their controversy to be of the lucrative celebrity foible / tits variety.

now i don’t give a damn about janet jackson’s tits, she has had so much surgery looking at her naked would be like watching a mannequin being changed in a department store window, but how can CBS possibly defend their ridiculous stance on the controversial in light of this? well, really it does not matter does it? the game is over. the commercial lights dimmed. today the papers print reviews of the ads as if they were fine films. janet jackson is on the front cover, the patriots on the back. in a day or so the hoopla will die, and all interest will be gone.

the one and only thing that might linger is the rewritten version of the platitude about money, which should go something like this. “money can’t buy you love, or open political debate during a pay-for-time media event, in a free, democratic nation.” master card may want to take note, so next year they can amend their famous ad campaign. super bowl ad: $100,000,000. censorship by a major broadcast network for better positioning to lick a presidents taint: priceless.