a man with yellow teeth and a black duffel bag emerges from the stairs onto the train platform. it’s 12:00 and the train is pulling away. he does not curse or huff. it is always this way. he sees a second man at the far end of the platform. the man is tall and though he can not see it from such a distance his teeth are very white. were it the old west this second man would be wearing a white hat no doubt, to match his teeth, and would be doubling over in pain, as a single bullet tore through his long coat. the man with the yellow teeth puts down his duffle bag and sits. 50 minutes can pass slowly on a cold christmas morning. he knows the drill. best to huddle-up and enjoy the empty platform silence while it lasts.

it lasts for a few seconds at most.

the tall man with white teeth and a long coat is standing beside him. his white teeth part, are hidden by his lips, and he says, “i hope you didn’t just miss your train?” the last three words are emphasized just enough to make the statement sound like a question. in his right hand there is a small book, in his left 4 thin pamphlets.

the man with the yellow teeth looks at the evidently fleet footed interloper and thinks, it is rather counterproductive to try striking up a conversation with a rhetorical question isn’t it? were it the old west a stream of brown chaw-juice would likely pass those yellow teeth as answer, and finding no spittoon, would splash against the interloper’s boots.

it being christmas the man with the yellow teeth answers as pleasantly as he can manage when being called upon to state the obvious. “yes, in fact, i did.” only as the tiny cloud of condensation is already escaping his mouth does he notice the book and small pamphlets… 

just as the vampire needs to be invited in to strike, so too does the jehovah’s witness. and just as it is with “they of the neatly punctured neck” realization dawns too late for he of the yellow teeth. he has sent his invitation as surely as if with a fountain pen, on a little lavender card, in looping and immaculate script announcing: you are cordially invited to a conversion attempt!

the man with the white teeth

is

wearing a white hat as it turns out, the discorporate, but so proudly donned as to be almost visible, white hat of self righteousness. if that hat could speak it would say. “i am the good guy! i’m on the side of right because i know the truth.” of course hats can’t speak, least of all discorporate ones; unfortunately the men who wear them can.

the man with the yellow teeth grinds them against one another slightly and resigns himself to the inevitable.

“do you think people can make the world a better place?” asks the man with the white teeth. as an opening volley it’s harmless, a spitball fired from a bendy straw.

the man with the yellow teeth has been down this road before, as surely everyone has. having made the initial mistake of a standing open in the town square, it is at this point a partial retreat is made back into the mental saloon, from where endless rounds of “i’m not interested. (head shake, reload) sorry, i’m not interested.” can be fired. it’s a siege mentality, and uncomfortable as it may be, it is generally an effective tactic.

the train platform was silent save for the squaws of some circling gulls. it being christmas the man with the yellow teeth decided a fair fight was called for. rather than firing off cold shots from behind the saloon’s busted windows he’d face ol’ white teeth right out in the open, ideologies at high noon.

“in theory i believe people could make the world a better place. in practice i don’t think we’ve had much success.” he says.

the man with the white teeth asks “events have become worrying haven’t they? is it reasonable to expect human governments to be able to sort it out?” rather than waiting for an answer he opens a pamphlet and points to a passage of scripture, saying, “in the bible god says…”

the man with the yellow teeth listens and nods occasionally.

if it’s to be an honorable encounter the interloper must be allowed his say. allusions and assumptions fly every which way ricocheting off lamp posts. passages are quoted, shaky corollaries are drawn, god’s wisdom is praised. finally the man with the white teeth asks, “are you a religious person, by any chance?”

were it the old west this would have been an opportune moment for some tumbleweeds to roll through.

the man with the yellow teeth is cold. the train station is right on the hudson and the wind chill makes it feel about 30 degrees out. the gulls have stopped squawking and are gathered in a ragged group poking their beaks into the dirty snow. he thinks, it’s too late to tell this guy “i’m not interested” isn’t it? i’ve got at least 45 minutes till the next train…”

the man with the yellow teeth decides that though “i’m not interested” would have been an honest answer, in its way, he is beyond the point of no return, and must now explain his position in more detail.

he thinks, crap, here we go

he says, “no, i’m not a religious person. of course the question itself is somewhat loaded in that “religion” is universally understood today as being a method by which humans address certain moral and metaphysical questions; questions of “the spirit” which are too often thought to be the providence of religions alone. by asking if i am a “religious” person you are in a sense asking whether or not the great thorny questions of our “being” are important to me. as it happens they are.

what i have no use for is organized religion. i am compelled to say i am not “religious” specifically because organized religions have had the audacity to name and codify the mysteries of our universe and ourselves. because they have anthropomorphized nature’s workings i am compelled to say i am “an atheist.” were it not for this audacity on the part of religions i could simply be a curious, uncertain, person, horrified by my own mortality and wanting answers, like every single other human on the planet.

in my estimation “person” is the base level value. what constructed denomination or sect you choose to cling to is secondary, an addition to the base level, and one which thus requires a “label.” people who do not believe in your gods or your truths ought not to be labeled at all. they’ve not chosen one of the prefabricated brands on offer, so there is no need, they’ve stuck with the baseline and ought to remain simply “people.” 

on the same general principle it is this competition between brands which causes a huge portion of the suffering in the world. where as we are united in our fear and our curiosity and our wonder as people we are driven apart when we seek to trade those qualities for the wholesale security and truth of a particular religion. furthermore it is exactly the rigidity and unbending nature of each religion’s claim on truth which demands that people reject one another. in fact many religions are most accurately differentiated by what they reject rather than what they encourage. “thou shalt not” is an all too popular sentiment. 

you asked whether i thought it reasonable to expect human governments to be able to “sort it out.” the context of your question intimated that you yourself would answer no. on that we may agree, but what is an organized religion if not a human government of the spirit? is it reasonable to expect human religious bodies to be able to sort out matters of the individual spirit? i think not.

as for this providence of religion over the great questions of life and the human heart, i contend that organized religions are in fact totally unqualified for the task for many reasons.

- they do not ask questions as such but rather offer a set of answers which one’s questions must seek to fit.
- they demand faith rather than encouraging further exploration.
- they offer broad rigid dogma as answer to the unimaginably rich and varied experience of all humanity.
- lastly they lay claim to ultimate truth, with knowledge of man’s creation, existence, and demise, and are thus closed systems, which are theoretically unadaptable. yet you will notice that each religion has in fact adapted considerably, a fact which i believe reflects quite clearly the “divinity” of their collective brands of truth.

isn’t it accurate to say that once a question is “answered” the question no longer needs to be asked? this is what religions offer humanity. the promise of an accepting, obedient, stagnant, uncurious, existence in which questions need not be asked because ultimate truth need not be questioned.

at bottom i feel that the claim of organized religions to ultimate truth is the highest arrogance imaginable. i feel that each and every human is exactly as qualified (or unqualified) to answer the big questions for themselves. the generations of people who have shaped these religions have no higher claim to “truth” than a homeless junky nodding behind a dumpster. there are no qualifications other than being a sentient homosapien. in fact i feel that accepting someone else’s interpretation of life and spirit rather than attempting to discover one’s own is tantamount to a rejection of life.

i feel that each religion’s habit of ignoring it’s own political roots, of ignoring its own will to power, of conveniently forgetting its own brutality and cruelty, of pretending its tenants and rules have not been an endless flux of human interpretations but are rather the solid and immutable “words of god” is inexcusably hypocritical.

most of all i feel a world populated with open minded, curious, people who humbly admit their ignorance but seek understanding, individually and collectively none the less, would be by degrees preferable to one we find ourselves in today with warring, murderous, factions and sects, either hypocritically wrapping the “words of god” as a shroud over their own greed or actually believing that they and their kind have somehow hit upon the one unquestionable set of truths about the universe which just happens to involve a huge bearded man living happily in a utopian sky who loves them best…”

the man with the yellow teeth pauses a moment, thinks back to what the man with the white teeth had actually asked him and says, “so the answer is no. no, i’m definitely not a ‘religious’ person.”

were this the old west the man with the yellow teeth might have blown a bit of lingering smoke from the barrel of his six-shooter. as it is he just blew into his hands to stave off the cold.

the man with the white teeth was perceptibly flustered. you could almost see his white hat fall to the ground, a single tiny hole piercing it straight through. perhaps he thought better of his decision to seek a convert on this particular bench on this particular cold christmas morning, or perhaps he’s so used to the ol’ “i’m not interested” tactic that he’s out of practice. he says, “well, i can respect that.”

a draw then. no converts to be made on either side unless one of the gulls below was uncommonly suggestible.

the man with the white teeth offers the man with the yellow teeth a couple of pamphlets and says, “you might find something of interest in one of these?” the last three words are emphasized just enough to make the statement sound like a question.

the man with the yellow teeth has no more beef with this cowboy of jehovah and says, “yeah, sure, thanks.”

the man with the white teeth wrapped his long coat more tightly around himself then and walked off, down the steps, toward the parking lot.

silence had returned but who knew how long it would last. passengers for the next train would start ambling up onto the platform soon. only a half hour now, he thinks. turning to open his black duffel bag and retrieve a book the man with the yellow teeth imagines a white hat there on the ground beside him with a single shot through it, imagines picking it up and putting it on… nah. not my style at all he thinks, as below a white toyota leaves the parking lot and heads off into the day.