When you are young you know nothing but are convinced you know everything. And that’s its charm. It’s what makes foolhardy youth passionate and beautiful. When you are old you know nothing and are well aware you know nothing. After all the trial and error and revolving 3 a.m. philosophies you are still naked and lost. It’s exactly this which tinges age with sadness.
self portrait, 1992
I never thought I knew everything. But when I was younger, I felt capable of anything: the future was limitless, and I felt large enough to meet it head-on.
It’s the loss of that sense of possibility that troubles me most as I get older.
I can feel the sadness of age. Here I am on the cusp of being truly old, and I still
know nothing, except for the fact that I know nothing. Having two sons who are near
genious level makes me all the more aware of how much of nothing I know.
By the way, nice self portrait. Was that done in high school ? Also, is Matt the same
one from high school ? Just wondering.
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@Mrd: Beautiful comment. Much appreciated.
@Matt: “I felt capable of anything…” That really is more to the point isn’t it? I agree. But then the simple symmetry of my statement wouldn’t have held so I went with the less precise- “Know”.
@Mare: Yup, I’ve met your kids, they are very near “genius level.” And no, the Matt above is not to Matt from high school, though I am fairly certain that Matt lurks about these parts quietly so perhaps he’ll say hello.
J you just crack me up !! Genius, indeed !
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To meet the nonist, not as he is, but as he once intended himself to be, is surely the greatest of honours. Perhaps it is this self, defined by temporal stasis on digitally enhanced celluloid, which symbolises the summation of your knowledge, your being, your identity. Here is a creature whose shadow branches its way across the map of your life, weaving each contour, combining every crease in the fabric of your existence to reach us as it was the day it was taken; a moment in a life to become eternal. A transcendance of selfhood.
It is only with the advance of your years that you truly become able to recognise this face; it is only with the wisdom inherent in retrospect that you become a self at all; this photo is a symbol of a present perspective rather than a unified self in temporal dislocation.
Peer back dear nonist, peer long and hard, for it is through the symbol of the present you, a projected future you, that the younger nonist believed he knew himself. Neither will the present nonist find definition until another 12 years have sailed by. See you back at this post, 12th of July 2018. Don’t forget to bring your camera…