The ever ingenious inventor and old master Leonardo Da Vinci has yet again proven himself wise beyond all measure. This newly unearthed mechanical sketch, completed it is thought only hours before his death, is a truly prescient wonder. The text which accompanied it, “coded” in Leonardo’s own backward written script, described the invention as follows:

“In the event my good name becomes somehow inextricably entangled with all manner of buffoon, including but not limited to, doltish actors, thieving hack writers, slavering media dimwits, confused religious fanatics, and idiotic pea-brained people who simply can not make a mental distinction between fiction and non-fiction, this device will sense the besmirchment of my name and begin, through the complex interaction of gears and pulley systems, to rotate my coffin within my final resting place, allowing me to literally “turn over in my grave” for the rest of eternity, or until such time as I am searched on google for my actual accomplishments.”

A fucking genius that guy! Wow.

05.20. filed under: !. criticism. lies. 4