That G.W. Bush does not bother reading the paper is a on the record and well known. That the current Administration in Washington on the whole dislikes the press is obvious. First there was the uproar over the revelation of the N.S.A. wire-tapping program. Just last week we witnessed the President, Vice President, and other members of the Administration lash out angrily over the New York Times story which disclosed a secret C.I.A. program to trace financial records. Representative Peter T. King, Republican of New York, even called for a criminal investigation of The Times. It seems that something must be done.

I assume that The Times, being, like the rest of the mainstream press in recent memory, a sorry, weakling shell of a what might properly be called “a paper,” wishes to save itself in these choppy waters. Well I have taken it upon myself to create a mock-up of a format which, if adopted, would not only ingratiate The Times to the Administration, but which might even conceivably prove readable for a barely literate nincompoop of a President.

See below for 15 clippings from The Administration Times.

See? Now wouldn’t that make the boo-boo all better?

All images were taken from the New York Times’ own Sunday pictorial suppliments, specifically from the online exhibit: Newspaper Pictorials: World War I Rotogravures from 1913-1919 offered by The Library of Congress.