nyp’s 50 most loathsome new norkers

I have stated before that I am not particularly a fan of the New York Press. free weeklies in general just aren’t my cup of tea. If I want sex advice or political analysis from a bitter homosexual or a hyperactive, overeducated duke alumnus, I’ll just talk to someone I work with thanks very much. The one exception to this rule used to be the issue of NYP that contained their Annual ‘50 most loathsome New Yorkers’ which is pretty much the closest any magazine has gotten to emulating the original Spy magazine since, well, since the crappier fake Spy magazine relaunch. But now you don’t have to wade through adverts for hookers and what shitty nu-metal knock off band from jersey is playing Arlene’s Grocery to see it, because it’s online

posted by tom. on 03/31 | news & views - people | | permalink
I’m not an octopus, I’m a coconut!

Taken from slashdot, and thus as lazy a post as you’ll see, but this doth amuse me. octopi disguise themselves and walk on two ‘feet’ to sneak away from predators. Or maybe it’s carnaval down there. That makes sense. could be. when are they going to shoot video of an octo-stripper doing the ‘dance of the seven algae fronds’?

posted by tbuckner on 03/27 | tech & science - bio | | permalink
psychotic break! err, what i meant was… spring break

life has jostled me this week and demanded i start paying attention to a myriad of tasks it’s seen fit to clutter my life with. i’m busy, stressed, grumpy and as such i’m bad company. i think it’s necessary i take an official break from the site for at least a couple of weeks. i’m choosing to call it a “spring break” and though my silence might lead you to believe i am putting my feet up somewhere and drinking heavily i can assure you nothing would be further from the truth. i’ll be working, just somewhere else, having even less fun than usual. i might get a word in here and there, but then again, i might not. so, (sniff sniff parting is such sweet sorrow) see you all later.

posted by jmorrison on 03/23 | announcements | | permalink
urgency, risk, elegance: diagram

came across this intriguing web mag called diagram. have not not plumbed it’s depths yet (25 issues on line / lots to see) but i approve of it’s spirit. plus, i just love diagrams. from the site: we value: the insides of things, vivisection, urgency, risk, elegance, flamboyance, work that moves us, language that does something new, or does something old—well. We like iteration and reiteration. Ruins and ghosts. Mechanical, moving parts, balloons, and frenzy. we want: art and writing that demonstrates / interaction; the processes / of things, both inner and outer; how certain functions are accomplished; how things become. How they expire. How they move or churn, or stand. if anyone finds particularly interesting content within please share in comments.

posted by jmorrison on 03/22 | sights & sounds | | permalink
the glass mountain & brain damage

“writing is a process of dealing with not-knowing, a forcing of what and how…. the not-knowing is crucial to art, is what permits art to be made. without the scanning process engendered by not-knowing, without the possibility of having the mind move in unanticipated directions, there would be no invention…. the not-knowing is not simple, because it’s hedged about with prohibitions, roads that may not be taken.” -donald barthelme. here are two tiny excerpts, and two illustrations, from a 1970 printing of his short story collection city life for your afternoon delight.

posted by jmorrison on 03/19 | sights & sounds - books | | permalink
13 things that do not make sense

nice article at new scientist noting a few of the things we just don’t understand, titled: 13 things that do not make sense. i’m sure this list could have just as easily been called 13,000,000 things that do not make sense, but that would have been a long article indeed. the 13 things they choose to highlight are as follows: 1 the placebo effect. 2 the horizon problem. 3 ultra-energetic cosmic rays. 4 belfast homeopathy results. 5 dark matter. 6 viking’s methane. 7 tetraneutrons. 8 the pioneer anomaly. 9 dark energy. 10 the kuiper cliff. 11 the wow signal. 12 not-so-constant constants. and 13 cold fusion.

posted by jmorrison on 03/19 | tech & science - theory | | permalink
frailty, thy name is blog

of late the questions have come with an uncomfortable urgency. why? what’s the point? who gives a shit? the answers are predictably reactionary. a waste of time! a mistake! could be doing more important things! yes folks, that’s right, it’s another blog-life crisis. these are different from their counterpart in a human life, the mid-life crisis, mainly because a blog’s life span is indeterminate, and so a blog-life crisis must present itself more frequently as not to miss it’s mark. another difference: sink or swim i have no intention of growing a pony tail. so if doubt is a storm cloud, turbulent and whirling, and misgivings / angst / regret / disappointment are the bits of grime at the center of each fattening rain drop, then consider this post an engineered afternoon storm seeded in the hopes of hastening a return to clear skies.

let’s mock the dj.

One night back in 1999 myself, Jaime (better known as the ineffable and unknowable jmorrison to readers of this site), and sometime commenter and poster at the nonist James Rizzi, went to what was then our local watering hole, the now venerable, but then newly minted, Enid’s in Greenpoint; The original proto-hipster bar in a sea of polish owned and operated shitholes who would sooner slit our throats than serve us. Enid’s one drawback, in our minds, was the quality of their DJ’s. They always seemed to be some lanky, music-nerd, douchebag, with a stupid name who would play the most godawful shite for 3 hour blocks before giving it over to the next skinny jerk who would continue the trend of playing terrible music almost indistinguishable from his predecessor both in appearance and in choice of a playlist.

posted by tom. on 03/16 | piss & vinegar - observations | | permalink
case 98

continuing in our series of transcribed case studies from psychopathia sexualis, the time capsule for sexual proclivities of times past, we offer you case 98. in pervious installments we’ve brought you tales of anatomical wishful thinking (see case 88) and a slightly overzealous love of flora (see case 123). today we bring you a case which by today’s standards hardly seems deviant at all, more like fodder for a sit com. Marital bliss… with a tiny catch.

posted by jmorrison on 03/16 | lost & found - wtf | | permalink
renaissance palettes

came across this article about the methods which were employed in creating those stunning pigments which have managed to still dazzle 500 years after their application. an art historian happened upon an ancient inventory from a venetian seller of artists’ pigments which shed some light on practices which have been essentially lost to time. quote: “this inventory of artists’ materials could hold the answer to a question that had long vexed conservation scientists- how did venetian renaissance painters create the strong, clear, and bright colors that make objects and figures in their paintings appear to glow?” it’s interesting because back when art was still considered a “trade” artist’s methods were appropriately guarded as trade secrets. the main secret laid bare thus far? glass.

posted by jmorrison on 03/15 | sights & sounds - art | | permalink
film in flux

the superlative ubuweb has made a group of 37 short fluxus films from 1962-1970 available online in quicktime format. i for one am not exactly a fan of fluxus as a movement. it seems, in my far from scholarly view, that it is in fact a perfect model for what not to do as an artist. namely: claim to reject “limiting art theories” then explain your position by putting forth wordy, convoluted, and vague theories of your own. add to this one of they key components of the movement, the rejection of “pure aesthetic objectives” and what does that ultimately leave you with after the “aktions” are over? 40 years worth of words i guess.

posted by jmorrison on 03/13 | sights & sounds - film | | permalink
If you’ve got a printer… and lots of time

Card Models are wee airplanes and ships and buildings and buses and whatnot. They aren’t made from plastic, though. You download images somebody created with CAD software and cut out all the parts, then paste them together. Then, most important of all, you don’t leave them in the window where your cat likes to sleep. He will surely sit on them, and you will weep, and gnash your teeth, like the sad wretch you are. But I digress. There are far more card models out there than you will ever have the time to build, and this list is but the tip of the googleberg. I find some of them amusing, for example: ” The Lint Hotel in Cologne has a model of their building.” ironically, you do not build it out of lint, or cologne. Many links are dead, but from a list this massive, that is no surprise.

posted by tbuckner on 03/13 | sights & sounds - games | | permalink
diversions are dead! long live diversions

well, i think i may have earned myself one of the nifty copy left pins (pictured) yesterday. i was having a hard time accomplishing anything so used the casual competition over at orphan army as a diversion from more pressing matters. evidently when the copyleft / creative commies thing flared up a while back patrick had wm. spear design whip up a batch of these enamel flags. patrick was feeling guilty that they didn’t sell like hotcackes so decided to give some away. he requested visual mashups incorporating the copyleft flag design. i did a bit of photoshop tomfoolery and hey presto chango-

posted by jmorrison on 03/12 | piss & vinegar | | permalink
an ode to naked type

whilst sorting through piles most high i had a visitation. the earthly remains of a long forgotten loved one brought before my naked eyes, bones, but made so animated by the rush of memories as to seem a phantasm! i trembled. i gasped. i was about to call out “no!” when hamlet’s well known words came to my lips: angels and ministers of grace defend us! be thou a spirit of health or goblin damn’d, bring with thee airs from heaven or blasts from hell, be thy intents wicked or charitable, thou comest in such a questionable shape that I will speak to thee: I’ll call thee dry transfer lettering! i’ll call thee prestype! i’ll call thee letraset!

posted by jmorrison on 03/11 | sights & sounds | | permalink
reprint: lives of the saints

i’ve decided that now and again i’d like to “reprint” old posts, things so buried in the archives they’ll likely never see the light of day again unless dragged out. perfect for a wednesday in my frazzled estimation! this particular reprint is actually 3 posts from back when the nonist was a dizygotic zygote, separated into two fraternal blogs, zeitgeist and philology. lives of the saints was an ongoing micro fiction project focussing on the sometimes trying intimate moments between couples. i’d like to continue with the project but want to drag the beginnings back into the light first. commencing reprints:

posted by jmorrison on 03/10 | piss & vinegar - fiction | | permalink
viewmistress vladimir

awards for cleverness are handed out on a daily basis here on the good ol’ interweb. they’re plentiful and short lived. maybe not very valuable. they are called blog posts. i’ve been trying to make it standard practice to hand out my gee-whiz back-pats in the “two cents” section and save the main column whenever possible for commentary and original content. this particular site deserves its spot in the main section though, regardless of how “clever” the idea might initially strike you. through sheer force of attention to detail, good design, and high mindedness of content these homemade viewmaster disks, called vladmasters by their 27 year old creator vladimir, are pretty fantastic as objects. the four available are kafka’s parables, italo calvino’s invisible cities, the public life of jeremiah barnes, and lucifugia thigmotaxis. i love them. (via the cartoonist)

posted by jmorrison on 03/09 | sights & sounds - art | | permalink
chain reaction

spoke with a friend this morning who mentioned there was a new robert gober show up at matthew marks gallery. for some reason his descriptions of the work, which were detailed and complicated (wax lawnchair / beheaded jesus with water shooting from nipples into a hole in the ground / showers with steam and wax legs) reminded me of something totally different. this set off a chain reaction of sorts…

posted by jmorrison on 03/06 | sights & sounds - art | | permalink
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