came across this article. it explains how a once banned study guide, crib note type of thing, is now being utilized in classrooms across metro atlanta. it is shakespeare “translated” into plain english. i.e. romeo, romeo, where for art thou = romeo! where are you?... anyhow, not earth shaking stuff but got me thinking.

what is the point of shakespeare in plain english? seriously. hamlet is not a teleplay. the tempest is not a novelization of a blockbuster action movie. this is not dashciel hammet or agatha christie. this is fucking shakespeare! not a loose collection of plot points with a “surprise twist ending.” what is shakespeare exactly without the language? it’s like repainting a cubist period picasso photo realistically so people can more easily see the subject. defeats the whole purpose so far as i can see, effectively removing from a piece exactly that which makes it stand apart from all others. 

i understand that english is evolving; that a whole lot of shakespeare does actually sound like another language all together. i’m not rushing out to read chaucer or milton in my free time. i get it. but if the language has moved so far as to be unintelligible then why teach it at all? there are two viable choices i’d say. reach back a little less far in history and teach something tough and rewarding that the kids might actually understand, or, you know, actually challenge students to go beyond the language they use in study hall to deride and scar one another.

the reason this bothers me is the unending reports of how stupid americans are. how stupid children are. how with every generation test scores go down and basic competency levels sink to keep up. i think that this has been drilled into our heads so often that we assume it of ourselves now. it’s kind of become part of our identity. “we americans can’t point out a foreign country on a map. we americans cant name our own 50 states”. et-cetera. allowing plain english shakespeare is worse than just not challenging students, it’s basically admitting that the language of shakespeare, the meat, is somehow no longer relevant to us culturally. that is what bothers me, because it’s the same reason that we ARE getting dumber. our CULTURE is dumber. kids are stupid because we adults have created a stupid culture for them to live in, a culture which does not put a premium on learning or knowledge or sophistication, does not reward these things. if our culture is shoddy and dull and shallow, why would the kids who are training now to make their way in it be anything else?

if shakespeare’s language has been turned by time into what may as well be latin for modern america, something which needs to be translated, illustrated, simplified, reduced to plot summaries in order to be palatable, then stop teaching it. simple as that. teach something modern which is applicable to modern life. admit that this is not a classical minded culture and teach something else. if shakespeare IS still relevant to us, if learning is valued, if history is valued, then teach it as it is, challenging and beautiful.

anyhow, i don’t know… just seems crazy to me. an overreaction no doubt. but hey, i’m a stupid american. what do you expect?