“It would be nice to 69 a bit.”  I was standing at the corner, child in tow, waiting for the light to change, when these words echoed into my ears from a foreign source.  It was like I had been deaf and then miraculously I could hear again.  They were delicately spoken into a cell phone by a curbside neighbor.  And so it occurred to me, there just is no eloquent way to term that position.  Is there?

It’s a position universally enjoyed by men and women ranging the entire spectrum of sexual preference.  Gay or straight everyone likes to 69 a bit.  I suspect even other species of mammal do it.  By my estimations, to accurately request this favor from a lover, one would have to state, “I would like to juxtapose our bodies so that my mouth is on your genitals and vice versa.”  Equally as unromantic as 69, huh?  How about the old yin and yang, eh?  I wonder if it is in fact position # 69 on that ancient Indian make-out menu, the Karma Sutra?  Perhaps we shall call it the karmic twist. After all what comes around goes around!  Or maybe we’ll call it the merry go down.  And another thing,  I never understood why, when boys and girls have to sleep near each other, such as camping trips, they’re put head to toe.  At the very least it encourages inverse eskimo kissing.  And so I challenge America.  Acknowledge the wonder of this hallowed position by coming up with a better term.