case 98

continuing in our series of transcribed case studies from psychopathia sexualis, the time capsule for sexual proclivities of times past, we offer you case 98. in pervious installments we’ve brought you tales of anatomical wishful thinking (see case 88) and a slightly overzealous love of flora (see case 123). today we bring you a case which by today’s standards hardly seems deviant at all, more like fodder for a sit com. Marital bliss… with a tiny catch.

a lady told dr. gemy that on her wedding night and the night that followed, her husband contented himself with kissing her, and running his fingers through her wealth of tresses. he then fell asleep. on the third night, mr. x. produced an immense wig, with abundant long hair, and begged his wife to put it on. as soon as she had done so, he richly compensated her for his neglected marital duties. in the morning he again showed extreme tenderness while he caressed the wig. when mrs x. removed the wig, she at once lost all charm to her husband. mrs x. recognized this as a hobby, and readily yielded to the wishes of her husband, whom she loved dearly, and whose libido depended upon the wearing of the wig. it was remarkable, however, that a particular wig had the desired effect for only a fortnight or three weeks time. it had to be made of thick, long hair, but its color was unimportant.

the result of this marriage, after five years, was two children and a collection of seventy two wigs.


bonus: case 99

x., aged twenty, inverted sexually. only loved men with large bushy mustaches. one day he met a man who was his ideal. he invited him to his home, but was unspeakably disappointed when the man removed an artificial mustache. only when the visitor returned the ornament to his upper lip did he exercise his charm over x. once more and restored x. to complete virility.

ah yes, those dreaded artificial mustaches! x must have been pissed. but then, if an artificial mustache was good enough to fool his “sexually inverted” senses, why didn’t he just carry a nice one around in his pocket for use with the bald faced among him (b.y.o.m.) kind of like wig obsessed mr. x above? hell, why not buy an artificial mustache factory and get to work tom selleck-ing the world? crazy bastards, us humans.

posted by jmorrison on 03/16 | lost & found - wtf | | send entry