we received word that jmorrison, super-admin here at the nonist, was kidnapped in the early hours of the morning from his manhattan apartment. his girlfriend returned home from the gym to find him missing. she received a ransom note via email making certain demands which only readers of the nonist can comply with. though the fbi have made it clear we should not attempt to deal directly with the kidnapper we’ve included the ransom note below. his loved ones have asked that you please do all you can to help get jaime returned home safely. we, the management, ask the same. please see below.

please help us get jaime back from this nefarious “el hombre del nantucket.” his super-admin duties await and the site may not survive without him.