Margaret cho rules, okay? At least, I think she does and whosoever doesn’t is wrong. So let it be written, so let it be done. However…

This’ll be a short post, as I’m convalescscing today. Props to Margaret Cho, see. She’s funny as hell and hates president bush and all the other people one should hate. For evidence I submit her blog: exhibit a.
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But this is about the 90-minute stand-up show that was on the cable the other night (sundance channel, i’m pretty sure). Cho is doing this one bit where she examines the pitfalls of thinking you gotta diet at all costs, because women have to be twigs. So once she was on some diet where she ate nothing but persimmons, and was out driving in her car when she realized she was, and I quote, “going to shit!!!” right away. no twenty minute warning, no time to look for a barnes & noble. i roared with laughter while she painted a long, sordid description of driving in a pile of one’s own offal. har har har!

What i didn’t realize (yet) was that this seemingly innocent comedy show was in fact some sort of dark magic. I got up this morning, tired but functioning, dressed, ate my brekky and fixed lunch, fed the critters, and drove off to work feeling bloated. and half way from the parking garage to the office, i shat myself. ooohhhhhhh…. two blocks is a long way to walk when you’re, ahem, encumbered. first stop, the restroom, and the damage was severe. i knew i couldn’t do my best work under these conditions, so i went downstairs and told my boss i couldn’t stay, because something just hit me like a ton of bricks, not good, bye. and i duckwalked back to the garage and drove home. after further intestinal storms, i slept until 2:45 in the afternoon.

what i want to know is this: why, margaret cho? why you gotta use the power of television to throw some unholy shit whammy curse on unsuspecting viewers? is this some sort of weird science experiment? are you in league with supernatural forces, just beginning to exercise a control no mortal can resist? or did you just do it to win a bet? i have to go now. something feels funny.