purchased the “relaunch issue” of modern painters at penn station yesterday. saw it, saw that something was very different. the size, the logo. picked it up, felt that something was different, the paper, the sheen, the weight. leafed through it and saw that the design was different… purchased it only to find that looks in this case were not deceiving, that perhaps the old adage of not judging a book by it’s cover, though generous and optimistic, may not in fact apply to all publications. had i judged this new modern painters by it’s cover i’d have said “another lame, limp, fashion obsessed rag that dips it’s gnarled little toe into a subject but decides to lay on the beach trying unsuccessfully to look pretty rather than dive in.” and sadly, i’d have been right.

for a long while now modern painters was one of my favorite art mags. it was a well designed, well written, high quality quarterly that never failed to entertain and inform. it’s 4 yearly issues were very gratifying. much to my dismay it has been bought and transformed into a cheap, thin, poorly designed, bi-monthly rag on par with the rest of the shoddy, trend tethered, uninspiring field. a field of publications which might be characterized as follows “light on the good crit, heavy and the bullshit.”

the mag was bought by ‘ltb holdings’ a company founded by louise macbain a french canadian multimillionairess. ltb holdings are on a tear buying up art magazines and resources left and right. earlier acquisitions include art & auction, museum magazine, gordon’s art reference brand, spoon magazine, and even the regional gallery guide, editions of which cover New York, Boston and New England, Chicago and the Midwest, the West Coast, Philadelphia and the mid-Atlantic, the Southeast, and the Southwest. sounds like a bid for some weird art-info monopoly to me. to quote her: “my mission is to help people do better with their lives through art.” to quote the party line towed by all the magazines “The company is realizing a compelling new vision of art and creativity which is pulling together the different strands of these traditionally fragmented sectors in a new and dynamic way.” the ltb holdings corporate profile offers this more specific paragraph: “we aim to become the gateway for everyone with an interest or stake in the visual and performing arts, including governments, business, education and consumers, as well as collectors, galleries, dealers, artist, museums, curators, and auction houses. it is doing this by building a world beating arts market brand based on publishing, information and data provision, a mix of media channels, philanthropic activity, and events programmes and the world’s first think-tank dedicated to advancing the role of the visual and performing arts in society and culture. underpinning this vision is the guiding principle that art and creativity have a central role to influence culture and civilization in a positive way. stimulating and promoting creativity across art, business and science will enable the art world to become more inclusive and open to all.”

wow, sounds so noble and so very grand! too bad it’s a noble and grand pile of bullshit. inclusiveness and openness through consolidation? interesting. isn’t that microsoft’s plan as well? i don’t suppose ltb holdings has any plans to turn a profit on any of this noble work does it? i don’t suppose modern painters will end up the propaganda arm of this conspicuously market-centered empire of openness will it? anyhow, that’s all totally beside the point, motives are complicated things, and can be ignored by consumers so long as your product is superior, which this new mag unfortunately is not. all i wanted to say is that somehow mrs. chairman you’ve managed to screw up a very good magazine. i lay it your doorstep because other than the design team, every name on the editorial board and staff seem to be the same. hence it must be assumed the ever dreaded trickle down edict effect from new ownership is at work. yes you’ve shifted to a bi-monthy. yes your in transition. but this relaunch issue stinks my fair multimillionairess. here’s an idea, how about putting some art on your cover rather than a self portrait glamour shot of richard avedon fixing his hair? how about resisting the urge to do pieces like “the rise of the art band?” and “will digital filmmaking cost cinema it’s humanity?” how about not giving over 50 percent of the content space to artists we were bored with 10 years ago and another 10 percent to book reviews? what is this new modern painters anyway? is it yet another watered down rag trying to cover a bit of everything operating under the misconception that the greater the surface area the greater the weight? give us some fucking fresh insight and some large, crisp, reproductions of art!!!!

the design of this new incarnation is also not very good. it’s needlessly busy and there is

too much wasted space. how about instead of giant, jarring, geometries of blank space you organize it more efficiently and give us some larger images? there’s not much worth reading in it anyway. do we need full page images of the mekons, ray richardson sitting in a van, and a second floor space in the moma? how about giving that real estate over to some artwork? also, stop trying to design “cool” spreads. please. let the art and the writing speak for themselves. (the artworks already have to compete with those supremely ugly gallery show adds on every other page.) if i want some overwrought graphic design to needlessly muss up any intended informational content i’ll take out my metro card and hop on the subway. seriously. again, i don’t blame the designers, because none are listed in the magazine, and having been a designer myself for a good long stretch i know how that whole game works. but if you fired the old staff who did such a fine job, well then you’re getting what you deserve, but unfortunately we, the readership, are not.

in any case i guess i ought to refrain from passing judgment just yet. it is after all the first issue. perhaps it will improve. perhaps we’ll be treated to a whole lot more modern painters goodness under this new bi-monthly format. perhaps the staff is just shaking off the shake-up and will find it’s legs again. let’s hope so, otherwise the next issue may as well have a glamour shot of lamont sanford fixing his hair before he throws a whole stack of modern painters into the back of his truck.